The Road I Travelled

Tadi boring dok buat ‘admin’ work untuk jabatan… jadi tergerak hati nak cari balik blog pasal memilih bakal supervisor untuk di forwardkan kat rakan pensyarah yang tengah berkira-kira nak sambung PhD. Rupanya blog Univerct tu tak boleh di akses.. baru teringat ada terbaca yang penulisnya tu kata akan bertapa selama beberapa bulan…

Dalam mencari tu terjumpa pulak satu blog yang dah lama wujud sejak 2002.. Teratak nurani, dan terjumpa sesuatu yang menarik…

KAMUS LOGHAT PAHANG…

It is raining cats and dogs outside and I wanted to go home. This is my break since spending much of my time writing academic stuff for the ever looming dissertation deadline. I figured its the only chance of writing something else.. or even doing something else in the library. It is impossible to work at home, partly beause of the entertainment issue. This laptop is the only source of entertainment at home especially for Luqman & Balqis and partly because of the ergonomics issue. I don’t have a proper place to sit and work. No computer table. So the library is the only place I can work in.

Next week Wednesday is the day I have to hand in my 20 thousand words MSc dissertation. The amalgamation of one year of work and the yardstick of my academic ability. InsyaAllah in four years time it’ll be the 80 thousand word PhD dissertation. How on earth did I get myself into this!

On a brighter note, I’ll be back home in Malaysia soon. A short "vacation" before heading back into the UK for PhD. I can’t see what I can do in the short break that I have because I have to report for duty on the 6th of December.. and spend one and a half months in UM doing.. what? But this is the (free) chance to catch up with family and friends, eat whatever halal fast food that I want.. - It’ll be Nando’s first by the way.. haven’t tasted that in ages..

To the best of my knowledge it was still summer up until last Saturday (15/9/07) when suddenly Autumn came.. the reason I say that was, up until Saturday we were opening windows until night time because it was hot. On Sunday, the temperature drops to single digit at night and we turned on the heater because it was so cold…

To me autumn would mean that it is now almost a year since I came here to study… Walking back from school the other day I suddenly felt a familiar feeling.. the way the air smelled, the way it felt cold, and the uncertainties surrounding me… the same feeling I had when I got here last October although under different circumstances.

I’ve applied for PhD places in Sheffield, Dundee and soon Warwick. One of those places is where I will be heading next.. InsyaAllah. In the mean time, I’m still short of about 12,000 words for my dissertation. I’m still waiting for the result of the pilot study particularly from the Malaysian side. The target is to start posting the main data collection by next week and analysing and writing the main body of the work before the end of October for correction. That will give me less than a month before submitting the final dissertation on the 28th of October.

Well that’s the plan anyway…

I’ve received a letter from UM yesterday, saying that I have to continue my studies to PhD level before going back to Malaysia.

At first I was not happy because I didn’t plan for this at all. I was told before going here that I am to come back and cover for the staffs that are going to do their PhD. Me and my family were already looking forward to going back to Malaysia at the end of the year. The living arrangements are based on a short term plan. Rent a fully furnish house with no phone line at home, no tv, everything is for short term stay. But now I have to come up with a new plan. The long term plan which I thought I have the luxury of thinking about it in another 3-4 years time.

Even the letter came in the middle of me busy doing my dissertation and they expect it to be returned ASAP! Where do I have the time to think about what PhD I am going to do and focus on the dissertation at the same time…

But after consulting with my seniors, there are a lot of plus points of doing the PhD now instead of later that I have decided to take the bull by the horn and look at it positively. It will mean that I will not be able to go back home this year or even next year but I will be home eventually.

It will also be easier for Luqman and Balqis on account that their schooling in Malaysia later will not be affected that much.

Malaysia.. see u not so soon… Huwaaaaa!!!!!

This entry is for my note only…

The UK government has started using PFI type contract since 1992 under John Major’s government where the cost and risk of public project procurement is undertaken by the private sector. In 2006 the Malaysian government under Abdullah Ahmad Badawi announced that PFI type contract will be introduced in Malaysia for the Ninth Malaysia Plan. But the Malaysian version of PFI will be different whereby the cost and risk will remain with the government.

-: What is the impact of PFI project for public sector buildings towards building maintenance services :-

Dah lama tak update blog…. sebelum-sebelum ni sibuk ngan exam, coursework, dissertation dan sebab-sebab yg orang tertentu saja yang tahu… pendek kata baru ni la rasa nak sambung balik…

Exam dah abih hampir sebulan setengah, 16 May to be exact. 17 May hantar coursework terakhir, 18 May laptop yang baru berusia 7 bulan ni rosak! takleh boot… no video… Nasib baik betul.. Alhamdulillah… kalu kena sebelum hantar coursework…. haru… Sengsara 3 minggu takde laptop.. kat rumah kitorang takde TV. TV murah je kalu beli kat carboot, tapi lesen TV mahal sangat £100 lebih - dok sini setahun je. tak berbaloi. Dengar radio je la.. tu pun yg kat tepon Ina je.

Balik laptop dari servis, motherboard sudah kena tukar.. memang laptop ni guna betul-betul… malam pun tak tutup sebab download torrent. hehe… Sebelum rosak tu rasanya seminggu lebih tak tutup laptop. hehehe nasib baik under warranti. Bagus servis kat sini.. deorang datang ambik dengan courier, hantar balik dengan courier. Takyah keluar rumah pun.

Dua minggu lepas tu, DVD Vista upgrade sampai. Seminggu gak la fikir nak install ke tidak… tapi selepas 3 minggu guna Vista ni aku rasa XP lagi bagus.. Vista kalu nak install gak baik siapkan 2gb RAM… baru best.. User Interface lawa la… jadi sebelum balik Malaysia ni kena upgrade RAM dulu…

Dalam 2-3 minggu sebelum ni banyak la summer event orang kat Bristol ni… BBQ la, fruit picking la… kitorang ni gi BBQ je la… satu yg MCB & MCS buat, satu kat rumah Jonid & the gang. Pastu ada 2-3 ceramah sebelum tu… aktiviti kat sini penuh… tinggal nak pegi ngan tidak aje… fruit picking tu kitorang tak gi sebab takde kete… orang lain semua ada kete… sebab tu jugak le kitorang tak penah sampai ke carboot. Aku penah la dulu masa kat Loughborough. Nak survive kat sini dengan tak keje parttime boleh sebenarnya.. aku ni contohnya… rumah flat… fully furnish… takyah beli perabut… utilities basic la.. tepon pun takde.. nasib baik rumah dekat public wifi hotspot… beli groceries kat tesco.. amik barang yang reduced to clear dan tesco smart price, tu kira paling murah la…, tak beli keta dan jgn berjalan sangat.. duit elaun ngan duit gaji guna habih… ni pun kat Bristol ni antara bandar yang paling mahal taraf hidup… bawah satu anak tangga aje dari London.

Ni update blog ni pun selepas hantar bab pertama dissertation… kira advance jugak ni sebenarnya.. member aku budak Belanda tu baru hantar proposal je… tapi aku punya target buat sikit-sikit seawal mungkin supaya lebih relax… aktiviti banyak lagi selepas ni… ada plan nak gi berjalan sampai ke Newcastle Upon Tyne.. insyaAllah…. nak gi rumah Kamarulzaman sebelum dia balik Malaysia tak lama lagi… antara Newcastle ngan Bristol ni… rumah Yati, Sarajul, Sherry, Azizul, pastu lecturer Alam Bina Kak Zu, Zul Esha… seminggu kena sewa kete ni… networking punya pasal…

Exam, Alhamdulillah.. hampir sume lepas… cuma satu kena resit coursework.. tu pun sebab tak cukup 2 markah aje nak pass. Akhir Ogos kena hantar…. lambat lagi… boleh la settlekan dissertation  sebanyak mungkin…. keputusan peksa yang lain… agak baik.. memandangkan dah 6 tahun tak masuk dewan peksa… Merit pun ok la.. nak dapat Distinction aku rasa tak layak dengan kadar usaha aku ni….

Sekarang ni dah bulan Julai dah ni…. lagi 4 bulan nak balik Malaysia… silap-silap kalau KPT suruh balik bulan 10 gak lagi 3 bulan je.. jadual Uni aku ni pelik sikit… Masters dissertation hantar bulan 11… bukannya nak komplen.. lagi bagus la masa lagi banyak… tapi datang sini bulan 10… ikut kontrak patut balik bulan 10… ni nak kena hantar surat kat UM ngan KPT la.. sambung sampai bulan 11.

Minggu ni nak slow down sikit dah bertungkus lumus sebulan siapkan 1 chapter.. boleh la tengok katun Saber Rider kat youtube… korang ingat lagi tak katun tu….

I’m in the middle of preparing my dissertation proposal for the MSc award. Whew… it is tough.. Although my supervisor have been very supportive, I cannot say the same thing to myself. Strangely I am going at it at a very slow pace. I manage to go to the uni everyday and sit in the library or the project room for hours on end but there’s not a considerable amount of work that is being generated.

My issue I think is the self disciplining myself in trying to write. The amount of literature that I went through I think would be enough to write 2 - 3 proposals but at the moment its not going as well as I had hoped. A different approach is definitely needed in tackling the problem. Any suggestions?

I feel there’s a lot of differences between the Malaysian university learning culture with that of what I’m experiencing here in the UK. I make this note in my blog so that the positive lessons learned can be applied when I go back and teach in UM later.

Lecturers here start their lectures no more than 5 minutes later after the period[(?)-couldn't find  the right word] was suppose to start. Who ever come later would miss the first part of the lecture. Nobody locks the door… Furthermore if they are the ones who are late they would appologize to the students.

The teaching style is aso different. The lectures often involves the lecturers LECTURING! rather than parroting the core text. If we would have any arguments or something to say we are more than welcome to ‘chip’ in. This is true even to the undergraduate level students. The emphasis is more on introducing key ideas and linking different arguments together and triggering critical thinking on the part of the students. There are no spoon-speeding the students like we have back home. The course structure is published in the module websites early during the term and broken down to each topic and the dates they are going to be tought. We are expected to read up before each session and do follow up reading afterwards and come to the next lecture with some basic knowledge in our heads.

The idea of communicating with the module website is very effective and something worth considering to our university.

The post-graduate lecture is more challenging. The class is a whole day session from 9.30am to 4.30pm every fortnight or three weeks. With fewer students its very hard not to get involve in the sessions. We are given text to read (pre-reading) consists of few journal papers, articles, book excerpts etc. and required to discuss them analitically in each session. The theoretical arguments are sometimes cross disciplinary and we have to tie it back somehow to our field of study. Students came from different background and carries with them different experience and preconceptions. That makes the class interesting as well as overwhelming to me. I must admit I had a hard time contemplating all this after 5 years absence from the academic world.

The lecturers are also allowed and actively practices their respective professional carriers in addition to teaching. This I feel differentiates the academics in our country and in the UK. Because of their extensive and up-to-date field experience, the lecturers are better prepared to expose and relate the students with the current knowledge and the advancement in technology.  They relate and argues as much of the theoretical bases of the lecture as well as on the basis of their own professional experience.

The exam topics are given early each term. That is how they prepare us for the exam. Tutorials mainly mimicks what the exam is going to be.

In terms of facilties, the one thing that strikes me is the ‘Project Room’. This is the core area for the students where everybody goes to in-between classes and well, basically to do projects. All the faculty printer and photostat machine is situated here as well as networked computer. I think having this facility is better than having a library in the faculty. Faculty staffs are also very helpful. They really actually think of us as their customers and try to help and accomodate us in anyway they can unlike some power-crazed-I’m-powerful-than-you faculty clerks (I’m generalizing here) in our universities. I would argue that the space layout of the faculty office have a psychological impact of the way students and staffs see each other. But that is an another subject altogether. Maybe I’ll be encline to explore it in a later blog.

Minggu lepas aku pegi berjalan ke Bradford rumah Yati, sepupu isteri aku. Dalam perjalanan kitorang singgah kat Stafford amik Akmal adik dia kat Stafford Uni. Yati ni doktor kat Bradford Royal Infirmary. Dia baru je kawin bulan 10 haritu kat Malaysia. Aku tak pegila kenduri tu sbb aku dah ada kat sini.

Yang bestnye.. dulu masa depa sebelum bertunang ke dah tunang aku tak berapa ingat.. adala aku borak ngan paklang, bapak Yati pasal Raya yang nak kawen ngan dia. Aku adala bagitau kat paklang yang aku mmg ada kenal sorang budak nama Mohd Raya sebelum ni. Abih tu dia pun tanya la macam-macam pasal si Raya kat aku.. aku ni biasala takdela exited sgt sbb aku yakin dengan penuh percaya Raya yg aku kenal dengan yg nak kawen ngan Yati ni kebetulan nama je sama. Bila paklang describe Raya tu macammana pun aku rasa tak cukup persamaan utk aku kata kat dia Raya ni org yang sama yg aku kenal tu.

Raya member aku tu dulu aku kenal kejap masa training rowing kat Batu Dam. Masa tu pun kulit kitorang sume gelap2 belaka sbb terbakor dok training tgh panas tiap2 hari. Masa tu kalu tak silap aku tahun 2001. Dah 5 tahun… aku pun dah tak jumpa dia lepas habih training tu dah.. sbb aku tak terpilih..

Jadinya aku dah komfom ngan paklang yg Raya yg aku kenal tu bukanla org yg kawin ngan Yati… Masa maklang tunjuk gambo Raya tu kat aku pun aku takleh cam.. aku rasa sbb dlm gambo tu Raya rambut panjang pastu lagi cerah dari yg aku kenal masa training haritu. Aku pun pegi la ke Bradford dengan takde apa apa preconception. Siap masa salam ngan Raya pun hampir tak rasa apa-apa.. aku cakap hampir kat sini sbb bila aku tgk dia terasa macam penah jumpa dia kat mana-mana.. tapi perasaan tu aku tak layan sgt. Dia pun macam tak cam aku ni… jadi okla kot..

Hari kedua kat rumah deorang isteri aku pun interview la Raya sekolah kat mana apa semua.. pastu bila dia sebut dia penah study kat UTM aku jadi suspek pulak.. Bila aku tanya dia penah rowing ke tidak pastu dia cakap dia pernah barula betul rupanya aku dah jumpa member lama… dia pun kata dia macam ingat aku tapi bila aku sebut pasal rowing baru dia ingat jumpa aku kat mana… hahhahah Keciknya Dunia Tuhan… yg bestnya aku dah mati2 cakap kat paklang Raya tu bukan org yg sama… sekali rupanya sama… kui kui kui…

Tak sangka betul… cemanala dia boleh jumpa Yati… pastu kawin pulak tu ngan dia… kuasa tuhan.. jumpa aku ngan member lama. Lawak pulak rasanya… aku ingat dunia ni dah cukup beso la… & ramai la org yang nama Mohd Raya dari Johor kat Malaysia tu… alih alih jumpa orang yg sama… pelajaran moral untuk aku… jgn dismiss orang yg kita kenal dan orang lain jugak kenal apabila namanya serupa sebagai orang yg berbeza selagi tak berjumpa.

My family touched down safely in Heathrow airport on December 9th. They were released a bit late though, my wife & kids had to undergo a medical checkup by the airport authority. Their plane landed at 16:50 but they were release into the UK only at about 18:15. I managed to prepare the house for them as comfortable as I can afford. Together on the flight are my wive’s parents and her youngest sister who just finished her SPM.

Great news!! I got my own Laptop… all this while I’ve been using my brother’s laptop. Thank you to Qadir & Pakbusu for the help in hunting PC fair bargain for me. & Thanks to my mom for pre-paying for the purchase since my allowance from UM is 3 days late.

Not so great news…. I’ve been down with fever + sore throat + cold + cough since sunday/monday & now my daughter has caught the same I think from me… or that’s what I thought. When I saw the Doctor today he said it’s very unlikely for her to get the illness from me. He wants to see her again tomorrow to make sure she’s alright.. OK… this is something new to me since in Malaysia, once you leave the clinic with prescription medication, the doctor would not want to see your face again… at least for a few months!!

This weekend insyaAllah we’ll be going to Bradford to visit Dr Yati & husband. Man!! I still have a lot of coursework to do…. better get right on it since I’ve taken 3 days off already on account of being sick.